walk away

[Beautiful~Mistake]

well fuck..
no rhyming words to impress..
no intelligent analogies
just
one
fucked up
chick
so i think ahh..
i dunno, guys

i'm runnin away again
don't know when i'll be back
i could be around for another 2 days to two weeks..
and man..
it's kinda scary

my partner's off workin
and we fight so much
because i'm
:::::::::::::::::::::::::here::::::::::::::::::::: ::
fuckin losin it
and he can't even say i'll be there in 10

and this is supposed to get better..
we're buying a home!
yeah..
fucking suzy homemaker here

so i figure..
what the hell..
i'm
so
fucking
in love
and
i'm scared of waking up

in like 2 weeks
we're buying a home..
..together..
and going shopping for the things
we're going to use in our home
our home..!!

holy fucking christ what happened!

[digitalsanity]

Simplicity Paige, growing up finally finding no ends but UP. You think or know your in love and you seem to have this subconscious drive to move forward (hence this settling down biz) then go with it. Stop fighting the no end situation of ?giving up? before succeeding. You grasped it to many time and let it go now you wonder why NOW that you have it do you even deserve it. Of course ya do. We all do in some contrast of another sort deserve something?..even if it?s the death penalty.

And I don?t know you as well as probly the rest of the world. But from what I can see I see paige struggling with whom she really is. And im sorry hun that grunge out death, suicidal hate isn?t you never was you, problem is you always wanted it to be you. Because you spent so many years running from whom you really are now that its being tossed in your lap you of course are going ape shit about it?all this mass confusions slapping you in the face and what NOW is constantly on your mind is how ?substances? in your life made it so much easier to cope with.

What?s the solution? Finally wakening up and not just going for what Paige ?wants? in life but more so what she ?needs? in life, because one day those needs will be far more satisfying in the end then the ?wants?

And so the hell what if you and this guy don?t work out, that IS part of life. People everyday buy house and try to get started in life together. A huge percentage end up selling that house. that?s just the cycle of happiness. Oxymoronic I know but for some reason people still smile about it.

Im only a few digits away

[Father Dave]

if you never leap
you will never
fly.


dam

[Beautiful~Mistake]

danny... sometimes... sometimes i really hate reading what you have to say..
you say ya don't know me..
am i that see through?

i always knew it wasn't me..
but i didn't know what was..
and you know..
i love the person i'm becoming..
with my partner...

a lot of the growing i've done with his help

i never thought i'd find somebody i loved as much as rant...

but it's like the same deal, man..

and i know..
i can't run from it..
believe me, i've considered it..
i've run it through in my head,
how i was going to get out of this situation..

and i actually found myself unable to find something wrong enough with this guy to leave him...

so basically my only option right now is to just suck it up
and jump
or spend the rest of the time wondering..

danny i'll give ya a call one of these days, k...

it's weird, though..
looking in at my life from an outside stance..
and thinkin holy fuck..
what happened..
i was in the bar earlier with the girls
and this guy who knows my brother was in there
and started making a scene...
and i went to him..
and (i'd known the guy since i was a kid) i told him he didn't know me..
the first thing about me..
and it was weird..
the look on his face..

right now i'm just babbling, i think..

missing my man.. *smiles softly..
goodnight everybody


before i forget...
i doubt he'll post to this..
or if he'll even read it..
but you know who you are...
and i just wanted to tell you..
i'm sorry for the way things turned out..
but i had to do what i had to do

but for somebody who was so convinced i couldn't possibly do it without your 'guidance'
you are were soOoOOo wrong..
so ya got me..
i almost believed yer bullshit
so here's to provin the all knowing wrong [img]graemlins/beer.gif[/img]
and learning experiences.. not mistakes [img]graemlins/beer.gif[/img] [img]graemlins/beer.gif[/img]
and of course
"the long path i'm walking which is going to turn into one short ride"
aha..
ahahahha..
AHAHAHHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAAA..
[img]graemlins/beer.gif[/img] [img]graemlins/beer.gif[/img]

<font color="#A9A9A9" size="1">[ June 18, 2005 06:10 AM: Message edited by: the revenant ]</font>